The Cincinnati Bengals are in the playoffs for the first time since a tragic injury to Carson Palmer de-railed our Super Bowl dreams in 2005. Bengals fans are generally a disappointed bunch, having lost 2 of the top 5 most exciting Super Bowls and suffering through an incredible period of ineptitude between 1990 and 2005. (For more information, check out http://whodeyrevolution.typepad.com.)
This year promises to be both the same and different. We're surprisingly in the playoffs, but have sorta limped into the first round.
Here is a poll for Bengals fans and anti-Bengals* fans to prep for Saturday's game against the Jets:
What quarter will Carson Palmer be injured?
A. First, and probably on the first drive.
B. Second, on a dumb play before the end of the half.
C. Third, on a freak special teams play while he's on the sideline.
D. Fourth, trying to tackle Revis on the game winning INT for TD
E. Unscathed! Bengals run the ball on every play!
Seeking "balance," the Bengals will run the ball:
A. 100% of the time.
B. 90% of the time.
C. 75% of the time.
D. 10% of the time.
E. The Bengals will not try and balance the attack.
What Bengal will be arrested the night before the game?
A. Marvin Lewis.
B. Louis Breeden.
C. Cedric Bensen.
D. Leon Hall.
E. Larry Johnson - yes, we signed him.
The entire team as a tribute to 15. (I know, too soon.)
Jets fans deserve a Jets victory more than Bengals fans because:
A. No one remembers the Freeman McNeil beat down of the Bengals in 1982.
B. They will always be the #2 football team in their own town.
C. If the Bengals win, Bengals fans won't be Bengals fans.
D. The Jets are "peaking" & Gary V will tweet a victory
E. Everyone hates J-E-T-S fans and they need something to talk about.
The Bengals mascot is:
A. McGruff the Crime Dog.
B. Who Dey the Whodey.
C. Tigger, the Siberian Tiger.
D. Tony the Tiger.
E. Mr. Orange, cousin of Mr. Red
The best Bengals WR of all time is:
G. Essex Johnson
H. Whoever can get open against the Jets secondary
The ideal next opponent is:
A. Browns, just because they are and always will be pathetic
D. Preseason scrimmage
Final score of Saturday's game:
A. Fill in the blank_______________________